“What! You don’t believe in a Flying Jewish Zombie born 2000 years ago to a virgin and who is his own father?” I can’t track down a definitive source, but I certainly get where the author is coming from.

The Feynman Problem-Solving Algorithm: (1) write down the problem; (2) think very hard; (3) write down the answer

Religion. It gives people hope in a world torn apart by religion. – Jon Stewart

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Phillips